I probably have that w/o realising. 

You know how sometimes we desire so much for something....

Hahaha, i Know I am lagging but 21st July 2009 was my first anniversary with dearest=)

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Alas, it doesn't make a difference whether I tell or not....

Hahaha....we burst out laughing. 

I feel so happy with my new laptop...that i can't not blog abt it.

It's like a twinkling of an eye..

Soon I will be back in school, no longer as Ms. Aya but a student eager to learn (hopefully)

But before I leave Mj, I realise i have quite alot on my hands, not that I'm complaining

I am currently busy with Econs Quiz preparations and will be busy preparing for observations during tutorials.

I so need to build rapport with the class! Haha~

And my farewell gift to the college, to be a wonderful help @ the school's big day..

So Yes, although the prep work running up to next week is kind of a dread,

I'm not complaining because guess wat, I'm kinda enjoying it =P

And on a side note, I am certainly cracking my brains for the LIST!

It's really not easy when u sit down and try to come up with it.

But becos it's impt, I dun wanna do a half-hearted work, That's why I have started on it.

I'm going to let myself think of a few every night so that I dun miss out anything impt!

You know how sometimes we all just want to stay tgt

because we are so used to the status quo that we are unwilling to step out of our comfort zone?

You know how sometimes we just struggle to keep things by our side,

because we just don't want to lose something more?

But i think at the end of the day,

you get bruises and cuts, with a very weary self.

And you ask if everything's worth your while...

I went through a long tumultous journey.

Thinking that I wasn't very far off the peak.

But now maybe I made a mistake.

Maybe I shudn't have ventured thus far.

Nevertheless it's my beautiful ending.

Because a beautiful ending doesn't have to be a happy one.

A beautiful ending can be a lesson learnt.

And a beautiful ending can be kept as memories.

And so we embark on a different path...

we toy around with our different options.

And one day, if we ever feel alone...

all we need is that beautiful ending to keep us going.

I'm taking my lessons with me.

And I think maybe I have a better understanding.

Now all i need is to offload the luggage...

things i won't ever see again.

Yes, i have.

Exams, FYP, now the new phase in life....

So many times we encountered the same problems.

I see it. But you don't.

I see these times coming in the future, but you probably don't.

If you ask me, I'm scared.

I'm scared that things will just go wrong.

Remember god is fair.

You always gain some, and lose some.

I accept that god is fair...

that life is never smoothsailing....

You have your ups and downs,

and you have to give up something in exchange for another.

I therefore accept that for my height,

God gave me big feet

For my long legs,

he gave me many scars

for my fair skin,

he gave me allergies

and for my small face,

he gave me less hair.

And i also accept that when my career is smoothsailing...

he takes away other things.

Maybe God thinks that people should never stop worrying....

so he gave me other problems.

He thinks that ppl shudn't slack....

so he makes me work doubly hard for happiness...

and while he gives me the edge in writing....

he makes me dumb in speaking

And so i admit I'm never good when it comes to real arguments.

I can't find a clever rebuttal, nor the apt supporting points....

I can't find the right words in my head...

And i simply can't find my tongue.

I held my silence once and got horribly misunderstood...

and now i'm still holding my silence because I dunno what to say.

So i accept that I'm bornt to be a silent girl...

To keep my thoughts to myself...

not because I'm selfish but simply because I dunno how to share.

I dun enjoy silences...because I know I have 1000 things to say.....

but I simply can't put them across to the other person.

And I can't risk hurting someone close again.

Silence is golden.

I accept.