奈々の花

my boy(=

I hate surprises…

No, actually I do love them….

But I’m nv going to be the one springing surprises any more.

I’m tired of being disappointed.

ok, my mood has taken a huge nosedive.

As i hear of people getting married and attached,

n going off for their sweetest honeymoons...

I can't help but feel a little elated too.

And when i hear friends telling me how grateful they are,

to their parents and family for the years of love and care...

I can't help but share in their joy.

And i can't help building castles in the air =P

sometimes i like to think that i'm in the centre of a huge maze,

and everyone is finding their way to me.

The only reason why I'm still standing alone waiting,

is probably because the maze I built is fit for royalty,

and not everyone can find their way through it.

i guess the honeymoon period is officially over....

but because it was too sweet a period,

it feels too fast and too short a period.

I wish i didn't have to talk sense sometimes,

i wish i didn't have to grow up sometimes...

but at the end of the day,

we all wake up from a dream,

that's long gone forever.

i promise it's my last post for the nite....

i realise a certain someone has a certain degree of magical powers...

he nv fails to make me go to sleep with a smile on my face,

even if the whole day has been gross for me.

and guess wat, i heart that certain someone....

loads and loads

it's one of those days when everything you see, you do, you feel , is totally wrong.

when all you need is just one light push from the back and you will find yourself falling,

when all you need is one tiny trigger to set your tears overflowing.

it's one of those days when the rain wouldn't stop, as if the skies are crying too.

when the sun refuses to shine and chase your blues away...

when the clouds are just so grey that it takes away your smile.

it's one of those times when all i want to do is cry,

although i know things won't change,

after the tears the problems still wun go away...

and all i have are the four walls to keep me in.

it's one of those times when i indulge myself,

and tell myself it's okay to be a crybaby.

because i know something is very wrong...

and if i dun cry now something in me will soon break.

i was tired, a little drenched, and really very down...

the crowded station didn't make things better,

and the squeezy packed train only made things worse.

I had two choices, stand and people watch...

or just let my mind wander off.

In the end my mind took over and i thought about a lot of things.

And i suddenly felt really insecure, insignificant and very very intimidated...

intimidated by all the problems that seem to overwhelm me 

far too much for me to handle and just simply endless.

the more i thought, the worse i felt.

in the end i gave up thinking.

i decided if i can't walk this through alone,

i will let someone carry me through.

Perhaps, sometimes, trusting someone shouldn't be done half-heartedly.

it just makes everything more uncertain.

If someone asked me for ten reasons why there's no smiley face,

I think i can give a 100, at the very least.

home trouble...

really troubled...

very very tired...

aching back.....

endless work...

flooding mails...

missing school...

splitting headache...

painful pimple...

horrible eyebags...

swollen eyes....

sleepless nights...

constant worry...

constant fear....

huge disappointment...

loss of focus....

and that's not all.......

i miss him....

and i still miss him....

i saw him....

but it made me miss him more...

i love him but i can't hug him...

and more often now, i wun see him...

i hear his voice and i will miss him... 

i see our pic and i will dream of him...

i miss him....

and i really really miss him....

now i can't be the huggy baby no more...

and after typing all this, i miss him even more.

Great....just great....if time permits....

and if my brain allows me to be the whiny bimbo...

i think i can continue with a neverending post revolving around him him and only him.

withdrawal symptoms can be really bad...

trust me, i'm speaking from experience. 

Life is full of ups and downs, i know.

But sometimes when the going gets tough,

all you want is a break.

And i got that in the form of meeting my darling...

everytime i meet him, he nv fails to put a smile across my face.

all this despite me hurting him once too many times,

and despite me saying useless 'sorry's over and over.

but all this just made me more sure...

he's my one and only.

and I will try to be the sweetest girlfriend ever.

I promise...

as long as my bf remains my sweetest darling ever.

=P